I am pregnant with my third child, and I went to Iceland. These two things informed each other, and made the whole trip possible in a way. I am working on elevating my perspective on what it means to be pregnant again + instead of feeling like everything is ending, it is only beginning, in an even more refined way.
With each child the stakes feel higher, times feel strained, freedom feels stolen. And yet motherhood is actually giving me the keys to unravel the deeper parts and layers of my heart. Without the restrictions of what I experience motherhood to be, I probably wouldn’t have found this current iteration of myself : complex, rich, and ever evolving.
So rather than seeing growing a family + nourishing it as hindrance, remind me this perceived limitation actually has the possibility to set me free – if I chose to see it that way. If I look for the ways it already has. If I view the breaking open + shifting of my being to literally create, birth, and nurture these lives : as a way to heal. A way to access the depths of me. Permission to step into the current version of me.
If I view it as a true privilege, one that I do not resent because I honor + arrange the structure of my life towards my desires and dreams. And if there are any hints of resentment I use it as information to redirect, to uncover, to locate the gold waiting to be released + expressed. Let me not fear how this new baby is going to be the catalyst for change. Instead let me ready myself, as if I was preparing for Christmas, or my birthday : a portal to receive magic, to be transfigured, to allow the contents fo my soul + life to improve.
Allow my view to soften about what feels “right” simple because it feels current, instead let me trust in the transition. Allow for excitement to permeate my being. Because while I will be ushering new life into this world, I will also be ushering new life and vitality into myself + my family. I am the conscious + confident creator of that + so much more. Let me stand embracing the beauty + magic of it now. The immense possibility that lies on the other side and let me be so clicked in to rejoice that all is possible. Willing to let go of previous notions + structures to allow for the next installment : refined + with miracles abound. Embracing the death that comes alongside birth.
Photo by Chelsea Foster