Coherent Work of Art

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The full moon beckons us to release so we can transform + heal this upcoming space. Healing from the residue of life. Finding the balm that soothes our heart and soul, and practicing it daily.

I contionusly release the unwavering self doubt, and that underlying feeling of never being good enough.

For this year I want to weave in all aspects of me into a coherent work of art.

Rather than scattered pieces here and there, scraps going unnoticed.

I want to embody a fluid and easy way of being, honoring support.

Welcoming huge sweeps of grace often.

Starting with gratitude, and connecting with hearts.

Seeing the value in organization and practicing the art of looking ahead.

Living in the questions, and letting the days provide the answers within.

More yielding, less pushing.

Guide me to see the greater vision.

Bring me closer to me.

. . .

May all your visions seep into your reality. Let them unravel from the heart.

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Dear December,

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You have had such a grip on me that I felt unable to rest when in your presence. It felt hard to exhale, for I felt I have to prove the entirety of my worth in your every day. It was exhausting and I wanted another feeling.

One of expansion. Of deeply knowing my own sense of worth + valuing my well being, and not forgetting about magic, play, + flow. Then I prayed / asked for something different. Something lovely, something easy, something fun. And then we all got sick, one by one. For that might have been the only way to stop me in my tracks and surrender it all up. Now that we have recovered, we have healed, I stand ready to craft the remainder of this month with sustainabe pockets of stillness guiding me.

May this second half of the month represent a continuous celebration, one of warmth + light. One of where the pressure is off. Where less is more. Where a deep trust seeps into all that I do. Where spontaneity pours into the days. Where I am not out searching to get anything, only to give sweetly. Where I can look kindly in reflection, and softly ahead with intentions to guide what is ahead. Marveling in the rhythm shifting, unique to this time. And the hustle + bustle translates to flow + ease, and spacious simplicity.

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Why I Make :

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To honor the women who came before me.

To honor the women in my lineage.

To honor my grandmothers and my mother.

To pave a path for my daughter.

To walk down a path of healing.

To create beauty when the eyes are begging to fall upon beautiful things.

To create adornment.

To create from the contents of my heart.

To play with shape, form, color.

To play with the gems of the earth.

To arrange.

To offer.

To dance with my intuition.

To access flow.

To make something that wasn’t there before.

To be in conversation with my soul.

A few of the reasons of why I make.

. . . .

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Every once in a while everything has to / gets to dissolve.

Like a tree shedding it’s leaves, the branches completely visible. An offering to the earth, a prayer for something new to emerge. A necessary release.

In this space of exposure may the judgements of : Why am I falling to pieces yet again? Why do I feel so revealed? Why do I ache so deeply, yearn for something so sweetly, desire so completely, something other than what this is right now? : subside.

Instead, layer on the tenderness. Celebrate the leaves that have fallen away, and nudge the ones that are still holding tight, it’s OK, you may let go, something new awaits.

It will take some time before the leaves begin to grow again, and then brilliantly + boldly once again change their form.

Allow yourself to fall into the abyss of uncertainty, swim in there for a while, let your ideas + expectations dissolve and trust that when you emerge, you will emerge whole. But then again, you remember : you are / were always complete, even though pieces of you were shattering, they were just layers being peeled off to getting closer to the heart of the matter.


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Who Would I Be?

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If I didn’t wait until the last minute?

If I didn’t let doubt hold me in a tight grip?

If I believed in myself?

If I trusted myself wholeheartedly?

If I realized I am already inherently worthy?

If I didn’t need external success to prove my value?

If I clearly defined what success would look like for today, or this season in my life?

If I honored all of it?

What would that look like, feel like, be like?

I’m ready.

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Dear Moms to Be :

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Whether you are about to have your first baby, second, third, fourth, or …  : some wishes for you.

May you have proper space to rest and nest.

May you practice releasing your control. May you ask for help and may you be humble enough to receive it.

May you be the recipient of good food prepared by someone else. May you have support in daily household tasks. If you have another child(ren) may you have a layered network of support to ease this transition.

May you be listened to with compassion, and may you layer on the self compassion steadily.

May you be wrapped just as this new babe will be swaddled.

May you loosen your grip on productivity and instead honor deep healing.

May you be cracked wide open, and rebuild this new version yourself.

May you take time to listen to your spirit, and nourish it with whatever makes your heart sing.

May you be held.

.  .  .

I often wonder if I would have been hit so hard with post partum depression if I had the practices to recover + heal during early post partum? Since, I have learned about the ways different cultures treat this precious time and I am now impassioned about sharing some ideas so that the new mama can weave her heart into her own choices, and realize she has choices, and the option to  s  l  o  w.

I’d like to witness holistic examples of women taking time to heal after giving birth, regardless of what the labor and delivery was like. Because early postpartum is the beginning of a continuous journey of redefining the self.


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