Elliot Thomas is a month today, and what a blessing he is.
Of all the things I’d like to say of this bleary eyed new born stage : it is this – for the first time (as he is my third) I have really given myself tremendous space to heal + come back together. To the point where I have only left the house two times to go to the doctor.
I have a lot of help, for which I am incredibly grateful. I have a postpartum doula who helps with laundry, dishes, groceries, meal prep, holding Elliot, and perhaps most important of all : companionship. My husband, friends + family help with dropping off + picking up the kids at school, as well as sharing nourishing meals with us, and a babysitter who basically helps with everything + anything we should need. I have only been alone with all three kids for brief stretches, which at this point is all I feel I can handle.
With all of this support I have quiet to take a bath in the middle of the day, nap whenever I can, read, write, and be still + present to connect to this miraculous being.
I often have to remind myself : I am not lazy, or weak. I am actually doing one of the most important things of giving myself ample time to mend before I return to the world again. Inspired by the postpartum yoga training I did at Mama’s Wellness Joint with Lara Kohn Thompson, as well as the book : The First Forty Days – I learned there are three stages to having a baby : pregnancy + labor / delivery + recovery (traditionally for 40 days). Previously, I never took time to recover, I kind of thought I should just get back to life as it was, and so I did. I’m learning how important this sacred time is to allow the new version of a mother of three to emerge.
It looks + feels different for everyone – there is no right formula. It has been a trial and error for me, as I figure out how much I can handler. Sometimes overextending myself and feeling depleted – realizing I have to pull back and lean on the support I have.
I am quite comfortable here in this little cocoon, and I’m only slightly worried I will never emerge – as that is probably when life with three kids will get really real. But I am trusting I will soon feel ready, and can ease in softly. I already feel myself getting stronger.
“The self you leave behind is only a skin you have outgrown.
Don’t grieve for it.
Look to the wet, raw, unfinished self, the one you are becoming.”