Who Would I Be?

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If I didn’t wait until the last minute?

If I didn’t let doubt hold me in a tight grip?

If I believed in myself?

If I trusted myself wholeheartedly?

If I realized I am already inherently worthy?

If I didn’t need external success to prove my value?

If I clearly defined what success would look like for today, or this season in my life?

If I honored all of it?

What would that look like, feel like, be like?

I’m ready.

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Today :

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I release you.

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I expect nothing from you.

I will commit to witnessing my heart. Practicing gratitude whenever I am fortunate enough to remember.

I let go of needing to muscle through, with clenched hands. Instead, I move with generosity, fluidity, and grace. Knowing that everything will get done when it truly needs to.

I am divinely guided. I loosen my grip.

I smile kindly when I catch myself tighten. I make myself a cup of tea and sit with me, my fear, anxiety, shame, and whatever else feels like it needs to surface.

As I sit and I see this part of me, and remind it : you don’t need to work quite so hard. Space is good and quiet is truth telling.

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Pockets of Sparkle

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My husband smashed a geode in the driveway before we rushed to the hospital to have a baby. The rock was unassuming on the outside, but filled with pockets of amazing sparkle on the inside.

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Anna is cracking me open. In magnificent + heartbreaking ways.

I can see my strengths and weaknesses that much more clearly. Like looking through a magnifying glass.

Some days I “have it together” – whatever that means.

Other days I feel as if motherhood is swallowing me whole, and my brain is tired mush by dinner time.

But really, I should never claim to have it together. For if I do, it is specific to that moment. And most likely related to if I got any sleep.

Because just as parenting goes, once I have it “figured out” it changes, just like that.

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Spiritual Treasure Chest : Art of Attention

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I just got my hands on the Art of Attention Healing card deck created by Elena Brower + Erica Jago and I am in love. I have been using them nearly every day and deeply benefiting from their guidance.

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Before I pull a card, I think of something I need a little support on. Like… What should I use this day for? How can I approach this weekend away? How can I best serve today? Etc..

These questions just surface as I slow down my breath and shuffle the deck – and what I’m wanting becomes clarified in those few moments before I choose the card. And every time it always seems like the card chooses me and grounds me in such an elegant way.

I’m so grateful that this treasure of a deck exists and that my friend, Reyna, told me all about the use of cards in the first place. Now I’m hooked and love adding this little ritual into my daily practice.

“Life is nothing but a dream, and if you create your life with love, your dream becomes a masterpiece of art.” – Don Miguel Ruiz

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Notes to You // Notes to Me

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Intuitive Flow : Mini Mala

If you’re feeling wobbly – it’s OK.

It doesn’t mean today is going to stink, that you’re less than, or not on the right track.

It’s just a feeling, that will certainly pass.

Use it as an invitation to listen closer to what you may need.

Connect to your intuitive flow + honor it fiercly.

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These words started as a note to myself, scribbled in my journal, on a day I was feeling off my center – and now I share it with you : with the hope that it might help you continue to move forward even if you are feeling stuck or slightly uneasy.

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Above is a mini mala I made, which you can find in my little online shop Charm & Magic.

 

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30.

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In honor of turning 30 this week – a list of 30 things I’m grateful for – in no particular order.

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1. My parents and the tremendous courage + grace it took for them to have me. :)

2. Growing up with my three brothers.

3. Moving to a new house – in Lancaster, PA – where the produce is plentiful + fresh.

4. Bringing the seed of an idea Charm & Magic into this world and now having an outlet to make beautiful meaningful things for people.

5. My incredibly amazing, amazing husband. Who knows where I’d be without him. Seriously.

6. Little Luca who is now a toddler and amazes me every day… as cliche as that may sound.

7. Naps. (in regards to Luca’s naptime and anytime I can squeeze one in)

8. Chocolate. Especially good quality stuff. Like bean to bar. Artisanal made shit.

9. My many ridiculously awesome friends from all parts of my life, all over the world, yet so near and dear to my heart.

10. Snail mail.

11. My little cousins that are now big cousins to Luca, and the magic of witnessing that. My aunts and uncles, that Luca now gets to have as great aunts + uncles.

12. Being pregnant again with baby #2!!! :)

13. Having had the opportunity to live in some of fantastic places : Brooklyn, Italy, & Frankfurt, and the excitement in the thought of returning.

14.  Shelter Island, and my gracious aunt + uncle who are always willing to have us.

15. Fresh flowers.

16. Orange egg yolks.

17. Washi tape, stamps, and any other craft supply.

18. Beautiful design.

19. Good coffee, and the ritual within a cup.

20. Grass fed, organic half and half, and other dairy products. :)

21. Ice – Cream.

22. Slowing down.

23. Learning at an early age that motion is potion, and running, dancing, yogaing since.

24. My teachers – especially the ones that believed in me more than I believed in myself, and offered a sublime teaching just in their way of being.

25. Everything I discover and uncover on my yoga mat.

26. Meditation. Especially when I have my husband as a meditation partner.

27. WFUV. Best radio station ever. Thankful I can stream it when I’m out of NYC.

28. Mantra music. That stuff really grounds me when I’m feeling scattered and anxious.

29. Sunshine. I worship the sun.

30. Today.

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