I am not the woman I was before I had children, so I should not expect to behave + act like her. Although some habits she had seem dreamy and ideal right now, I don’t have the capacity to withhold them, or perhaps the desire. Maybe one day I will. But in this current season there are more demands on my time and energy, as I continuously navigate ways in which to make the best choices for myself and everyone involved.
I have to trust, if I could do better I would.
I have to trust in the wisdom of time unfolding.
I realize I also can monitor my thoughts for what they are : Truth? or Excuse?
Sometimes they both exist on a very fine line, blending into another. So, if I find myself following the path of an excuse, I have to trust that if I could have done better, chose differently, well – I would have.