Recalibrate

Posted | 0 comments

Last week I turned 31.

IMG_8370

On the eve of my birthday I sat on the dock, in front of an almost full moon, with a bucket of empty clam shells. I threw one shell at a time back into the water as I claimed a wish out loud. I wished for courage, for love, for nourishment, for support, for beauty, for creativity, for a thriving community, for presence, for lightness, for peace, and perhaps most importantly : for a deep belief in myself, so I can truly be free.

I am upgrading a thought of unworthiness that has lingered alongside everything I do, for seemingly ever. I feel it almost as a shrunken sweater that I am no longer able to wear, no matter how many times I still want to put it on. It’s comfortable, it is what I know – but it is wearing on me.

It reeks of comparison.

I’m ready for the next installment, the next phase, the space where I own what I do and who I am, where I am, and all that I am not. I realize this isn’t black and white : completely not believing and then believing. But I am committed to the practice. To witnessing and catching myself when I want to shrink, or have already shrunk, and then tenderly tending to the embers within my heart.

I wish this for you too, a REAL belief in yourself + your worth. But perhaps you already know how deeply valued and cherished you are. I hope you do.

If not…

I think ritual helps.

I think writing helps.

I think the awareness, or even before the awareness – the openness to be aware helps to witness what is.

I think compassion is essential, for all the darkness that comes to light : may it feel welcome and seen.

It is my wish that this sliver of my life supports you in soaring, and upgrading the thoughts that are wildly pulling you down. Grabbing your ankles, not wanting you to move forward – all the while you know precisely where you are to land. And so you move swiftly + gracefully, your heart leading the way.

Read More

Pleading of the Heart

Posted | 0 comments

A series of circles have lead me to this:

IMG_2477

Arms wide open. down on my knees, cheeks wet from the stream of tears.

Asking, helping, guiding

leading me to my heart.

Around I go.

Sometimes I get to where I set out for, but most of the time I don’t.

I flail, I float, I shake, I rest.

I rest, and I wish I could rest more.

It never seems like enough, compared to it all.

That has to be done, that I want to do.

So I do my best :

to practice, to let go, to forgive, and forgive, and forgive even more.

Because I will never be done with this work, as long as I’m here. As long as I’m living, breathing, searching, seeking.

Awake with my eyes closed, turned in so that I can listen to the workings and pleading of my heart.

Read More

Cherish

Posted | 2 comments

Not everything has to happen : today, or this week, or this month, or even this year.

Screen Shot 2016-08-02 at 10.18.01 AM

I can capture the questions + ideas and sit with them. Letting them wash over me, while I dare to be OK with the uncertainty.

Patiently trust. Making time just be – no agenda present – how hard that can be.

Because there will be a day, I’m sure where I will wish so desperately for today. I will cherish the ridiculous imperfection that reminds me : there is no other place I’d rather be, none at all.

 

Read More

Take The Pressure Off

Posted | 2 comments

Drop the labels of what is good and bad.

Cover yourself with infinite acceptance, for who you are and where you are.

IMG_8233

Let it be imperfect. It should be imperfect. Perfection is paralyzing, elusive, and one can become a slave to it. And then we miss the beauty in right now because it is clouded with judgment. Of what is not right, of wanting to be somewhere other than here. Someone other than you.

Bow to your heart.

Drop the impossible expectations you may hold high above you, so you can lift up and float above.

Be so radical that you take the pressure off. And love yourself for where you are right now.

I’ll be here, working alongside you.

Read More

Feel It All

Posted | 0 comments

Yesterday, I went on a walk in the woods. Anna fell asleep on me.

IMG_8220

I stood in one place for minutes watching  4 dragonflies dance with one another. Their tails were neon. I spotted spiders + their webs in the sunlight, raindrops glistening on leaves. I walked a path I’ve never walked before and landed on a bench in the sun. My eyes were heavy from waking at 5:30 am. I felt the weight of a sleeping baby on my heart – balm for my soul. And there I sat, and dreamt, seeing what is underneath, wanting, waiting to emerge. 

My past few posts have been a reflection of where I am as a mother + a human these past few months : adjusting. And sometimes it is uncomfortable! There are intense growing pains, as I evolve. There are heartaches and intense JOY. I fully feel the range of all the feelings on the spectrum even though it would be way more comfortable to hang in the middle, I wouldn’t really be living.

Maybe that’s one of the keys to happiness – to feel it all – even the feelings you don’t want to feel. The ugly + messy ones. The ones that hurt, because those are the ones that usher in joy.

Read More

It’s Time

Posted | 0 comments

…to begin again. I’ve been quiet for a while. I’ve been struggling. I’ve been questioning if my work matters. I’m realizing it does.

IMG_8163-2

I went on the trip of a lifetime with my family. Rome for 4 days, Tuscany for 6. Magic, roses, lavender, piazzas, gelato, espresso, and food cooked with so much love that I could literally taste it.

There have been peaks so high, and valleys so low. And I guess that is how it goes.

The month of May was soft. I hosted The Sanctuary, an online space for moms to pause + connect. It was a very special thing to create. I also surrendered a lot. I let go of a lot of ideas, projects, tasks, + lists.

Then we went to Italy, which rejuvenated every cell of my being. Upon return I felt ready to engage again, full on, and I didn’t pace myself. I wanted everything to happen immediately, there was no patience. I suffered.

Now, it’s nearing the end of June and I’m ready to offer something of my heart again – in whatever form it will take. I made wishes for the summer, and am practicing softness in every moment I can remember. 

Most of all I want to loosen my grip + notice the light.

Happy summer to you all, let your heart make some wishes for this time.

Read More
Page 2 of 6123Last »