I feel as a veil has lifted.
After months of struggling with post partum depression, and openly sharing about it the other week – I feel a bit lighter, more myself. Writing about it as been freeing. Thank you for your responses. Receiving your words made me feel like I’m not the only one. Something I needed to be reminded of.
Being seen is healing, even though it seems easier to hide.
I have gathered a lot of help and support, and I wonder why I believed for so long that I had to do it all on my own, overwhelmed and alone.
Now I feel again like me, and not alone. Maybe this feeling will stick, or perhaps I will dissolve again into the depths of motherhood. Perhaps it will be a bit of both. I know this pattern well. Feeling stitched back together, only to unravel again.
Maybe it is a pattern of growth. Maybe I won’t unravel completely every time. Maybe I will make it a point to stay closer to my heart, and be so kind and compassionate to myself, even when I fall short of my continuously high expectations.
I’ll be here finding myself, and what makes my heart sing, again and again. With two little ones by my feet demanding my attention, as I continue to demand my own.